4 Mindset Shifts for Pregnancy, Postpartum, and Parenthood

Thursday, May 10, 2018

4 Mindset Shifts for Pregnancy, Postpartum, and Parenthood 

[This is also an episode of Friday Free Talk on The Tranquility Tribe Podcast on iTunes. Listen here.]

Fact: Parenting is hard.
Fact: Littles can cause you to lose your shit sometimes and this is not an indicator of how much you love your kids.
Fact: The energy you put out is the energy you will get back.

Hey, You’re Normal

That’s right…I said it. We all lose our shit sometimes. We all have those days (remember when Miley sang about it—don’t make me pull up youtube because that’s a rabbit hole all the way to hoe down throw down and I have some serious moves for that song).

Sometimes, your kids will be the reason you lose said shit. This in no way, shape, or form impacts the amount of love you have for your child. I also firmly believe that your child alone will never make you lose it. They are just so darn cute. However, with all of life’s other stressors, there’s doubt you will feel like your brain is a bowl of oatmeal slowly oozing out of your ears as you wonder if your neighbors and the nosy grandma in the grocery store can tell you are one centimeter from a total Britney style meltdown.

Welcome to Staples, Here is your Red Button

When you find yourself in the space that you are needing a hard reset, it can be hard to find it yourself. You’re really in the trenches here, right? How can you be expected to also get yourself out? *Cue calling on the village* When I find myself in the mental trenches of negativity, I have 4 go-to phrases that I rely on to help pull me out.

These can be changed or modified to fit your particular needs. I modify them depending on the situation or maybe the outcome that I’m trying to achieve. If nothing else, these will be a great base-line for you to start your own mantras that can be that saving grace when you need it most.

1    Gratitude Try sending gratitude to whatever it is that is causing your grief or ill emotion. Whether that be your toddler who tantrums every 20 minutes or the round ligament pain that hasn’t let up since your 5th month of pregnancy. Maybe it’s the sadness of struggling to actually have a baby that you send gratitude to because you know it will make the end goal all that much sweeter. Be grateful that you are this child’s parent and for any future tiny humans you may have. Send gratitude to all the people who cause you ill feelings, too. They have taught you so much- who you don’t want to be as a human, who you want to teach your kids to not be, and about core values that you may not have even know you held. Send gratitude, always.

2   This is temporary Whatever it is that caused to you get in this funk is temporary. People get into funks due to different reasons and various stressors, but you can guarantee that everyone gets in a funk. No one has ever been pregnant forever and no one has ever reported that their child stayed three forever. Those sleepless nights get better and your swollen feet will eventually return to normal size. I promise that this stage is temporary.

3   You are supported by people who love you Whether your village is 2 people or 200 people, you are surrounded by people who care about you and want you to succeed. These people are here for you to lean on. Let them help you. Pick up the phone and call them. Go get drinks with a friend. This was never meant to do alone and no one gives you an award at the end if you do. Reach out and let your tribe support you. You are not alone and you are loved.

4   You are strong and capable You can do this. Look out world because I am beating to my own drum, I’m making my own rules, and I’m coming in hot. You can do this, too. You are impacting everyone around you so stand tall. Make that impact. You are the only one who gets the honor to walk your path. No one else walks in your shoes. Own your energy, create your own perfect reality. You can do this.

Invest in Yourself

Hitting the reset button may look like a little more than chanting these mantras. It may look like an afternoon that you pay a babysitter to come to be with your kids and you take the afternoon to do anything you want or nothing at all. Maybe it’s your partner taking the kids for the morning and you get to sleep late. Maybe it’s purchasing yourself a massage. It can even be as simple as buying flowers at the grocery store (while avoiding the nosy grandma) and brightening up your home. It looks different for everyone. That’s the beauty of it to me; there’s no right or wrong, there’s only what’s right for you in that moment.

Whatever that looks like for you, do that.

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