Skip to main content

Magic Words in Birth

Magic Words in Birth

Hello, happy 2021 friends. I cannot wait to see what this year holds. And you know what, when I look back over 2020, it hadn't all been bad at, if you look at Episode 121 of The Birth Lounge Podcast, I actually talk about some of the positives that have come up for women's health from Coronavirus, specifically within the birth world. But in general, I think we're going to start to see some positive strides. I know that 2020 has been a hard year for so many people in, in the birth world. I was just actually talking to the birth workers and we were all sharing that collectively things just feel heavier in the birth space. It feels like outcomes aren't as great and that there's a lot more medical manipulation (Check out Episode 136 of the podcast on medical manipulation).

Recently, we had a really amazing birth at TBH. It was so beautiful. Total hours was only 11 hours. And this birthing person only pushed for 20 minutes and she had zero tearing and we did eight of those hours at her home and three of those hours at the hospital. It was just so idealic, it just really was, it was so beautiful and it was such a refreshing dose of how birth can be. When I came home from that birth I recorded a snippit to share within The Birth Lounge Community. And I've gone back to this clip several times over the last week, because like I was telling you, there's been this collective heaviness in the birth world and this birth was so refreshing. 

So it's just been nice to remind myself throughout these last couple of days that, you know, times are hard right now, but it doesn't mean all is lost. And if you prepare in a very intentional way, and if you prepare with the right preparation and with the right information and with the right team, then, you know, things can go beautifully. 

Even though you won't hear my voice. I feel like the message of this birth carries through in text. So, here are my thoughts at 2am after returning home from this birth:

"Hi, it is 2:15 in the morning. I just got home, but look, I just got home from a birth. Literally just walked in the door, beautiful birth. Oh my gosh. Beautiful vaginal delivery, pushed for 9 minutes. Zero tearing. Did about 11 hours of labor at home. 3 hours of labor at the hospital. It was so good, but we faced some rocky parts at the hospital and it all came down to a provider who was really struggling to respect consent and to respect the fact that this person had already shared their birth goals. And this provider just kept on suggesting and scaring and encouraging different decisions. 

At one point there was the conversation about having an IV placed, right? 

Birthing person: 'I do not want that. I have been hydrating. I do not want that.' 
Provider: 'We have to draw blood anyway and run some labs anyway. So we just need to place it.' 
Birthing person: 'No, you can just draw the blood. And then I don't want that IV'. 
Provider: 'You know, you really need to get this IV'. 
Birthing person: 'Why do I need this IV so badly? Why can't we just do this IV later if I need it?'
Provider: 'You know, if there was an emergency, the one minute that it could take to get in an IV can mean life or death for your baby'. 

Now, this statement is probably true in SOME cases, BUT the same is probably not true in a lot. In most cases. You also would hope that if someone held a job on an L and D unit, that they would hold the skill, the very core competency to place an IV in an emergency.

The way that this was presented. And the words that were used were so guttural. My heart right now is racing actually just reliving this, because it was very scary in the moment, the way that this doctor presented it. And I think it's important to note that we spend months preparing our clients to birth. We are not a traditional doula service. We are a maternity concierge service.  We're with you for months preparing you for very tiny details, exactly like this. 

This is why I want to share this with you as it plays out exactly how it is supposed to. We know that in America, we like to give IVs. So this birthing person says, 'You know, I would like to wait until an emergency arises in order to get an IV. I don't want an IV right now.' And she turns to me and says, 'Hehe, what does the evidence say?' And I say, 'Well, we know that the evidence says there is no benefit to having an IV placed. If you have been hydrating on your own, and you're not getting sick to the point that you're dehydrated and you're being able to keep down fluids, however, your doctor has a very valid reason for wanting an IV placed.' The doctor comes back with some more reasons as to why in an emergency being without an IV can be very scary. 

And again, this goes back to the skillset of, if someone is holding a job on an L and D unit, we hope that they're able to place an IV, whether it be in an emergency or not, it comes along with the job. And so this birthing person says, 'I don't want an IV'. And she turns to me and says, 'I don't want an IV'. And I said, 'I think that's fine'. 

This is where informed consent comes in. And I say, '...and this is where informed refusal comes in as well'. And you know, all about that and that provider, her tune changed. The wind in her sails went a different direction. It was like night and day. They were like, 'All right, no IV. We understand you've been hydrating. We are all set with understanding about the IV. If it comes to that, we are going to need to place it'. And the whole room was like, 'Well, of course'.

No lie. I was like, Wait, are these magic words? Did I just say magic words? I was legit taken back. I'm still taking back the whole situation when I paused the room. And I reminded everybody informed consent is definitely a thing, but that's a buzzword these days doesn't mean very much. Right? But I guess it means a lot. Everyone's talking about informed consent. 

But at some point it gets muddled. The message gets muddled. And I think that's where we've reached with informed consent. People are so tired of hearing about it. It's legitimately real. People are tired of hearing about it. So they've, they've tuned it out. That's what I'm trying to say. (Please remember. It's like 2:30 in the morning.)

Informed refusal though. It was so different. They got it. It was just a reminder. I think every now and then birth has this tendency that everyone's really caught up in the moment. And we just want to pause the room, ask our questions and then evaluate our options. And that's how you pace your birth, right

A provider can not practice informed consent without recognizing and respecting informed refusal, period. End of story. No negotiations. Book closed. Informed refusal and informed consent go hand in hand like this. They are best friends. You can't have one without the other it's salt and pepper, the left and the right. 

Okay. That's what I came on here to tell you, I'm riding that birth high because that birth was so the universal. It was so beautiful. And you can have it. As cheesy as that sounds, you can have that too. And this just shows how it plays out. If you do work, how it plays out. You have to do the work. We have to have these conversations. You have to know these things. You have to be educated on your choices. You have to understand your options and your rights. Be prepared to have these conversations be prepared to stand your ground.

Their business is how to support you in making sure that you do get those or you don't get those. And if you can't have your preferences that you're getting as close to those as possible, that's what we do at TBH. Thanks for hanging out with me. All right, I got to go to bed. Bye guys."

Please, remember the value of informed consent AND informed refusal.

Comments

  1. Hello everyone, I am from Wembley, Britain. I want to write this testimony to tell others and thank Dr. Odunga for what he has done for me. The first 12 years of my marriage I had 5 miscarriages and I was called all sorts of names by my mother-in-law and this made my marriage life very hectic and a burden of sorrow. I contacted Dr. Odunga for help and I will say that he is a very strong and honest man and he indeed helped me solve my problem. I saw his email in a testimony and I contacted him, little did I know it would be the end of all my problems. After 2 days of contact, I received a fertility herb and he told me to use it. The herb worked and my husband even loved me more and bought me expensive things. One afternoon, I went to a nearby hospital and came back home with the positive result of my pregnancy and after 9 months I gave birth to a baby boy. Ever since I contacted Dr. Odunga, my story has been different. I have 3 children at present and I am very happy in my marriage. Please, contact him at odungaspelltemple@gmail. com OR Whats App him +2348167159012 to help you too

    ReplyDelete
  2. I want to testify to everyone on how my husband and i got children after our 5 years of marriage. we got married and we could not conceive a child we have been to several hospitals for checking and the doctors always say that we are okay that nothing is wrong with us, we have been hoping for a child, my husband was beginning to keep late night outside and pressure from the family for him to marry another wife and divorce me, i was always crying and weeping because i was loosing my marriage. so i visited my friend in Florida and she told me that she also have been through this same situation but she got her help of getting pregnant from a Herbal Doctor of fertility,, so she told me that she will connect me to the Herbal Doctor and he will prepare a FERTILITY HERBAL SOAP for me to have my own child, i spent 4days with her in Florida and we both email the Herbal Doctor and he said i should bring all my information to him and he said in 3days the Fertility soap will be prepared and he will send/ship it to me through UPS, after I used it as he instructed, so i waited and i went back made love with my husband and i conceive. so i am very grateful to the Herbal Doctor for his help and miracle that help me save my marriage. please for same help getting pregnant, contact him on zicoherbalhome@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. Tucked away on the west finish of the casino floor, our beautifully appointed High Limits Area is secluded from the bustle of the open casino, but make no mistake – 1xbet the continuous action is just as thrilling. Visit at present, and enjoy the expert guest service you’ll find only at Margaritaville. Advocates for the playing business disagree, claiming digital gaming machines are benign — designed to entertain, not manipulate.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Do Inductions Really Rise Around the Holidays?

Do Inductions Really Rise Around the Holidays? As long as I can remember in my doula career, I have been told, both seriously and sarcastically, that inductions rise around the holidays because doctors want to control the births they will have to deliver on..let’s say Thanksgiving day or Christmas Day.  I have to be honest in that I never really paid much attention to it because our team typically takes off the end of the year! It has been an intentional decision in years past to not take births in the months of December and January. This provided us with the time to disconnect, visit family and friends, and wrap up one year + dive into the next with a solid foundation. As you well know, 2020 has changed so much of what we knew and, for us, this meant not having the space to disconnect without leaving birthing people vulnerable in a global crisis and not traveling for this holidays. With this, we decided to work straight through 2020 into the start of 2021. And in this moment, the ...

And then she said, "Don't Push."

Why You May Not  Need  to Push So Hard During Birth I was recently explaining to a lady on an airplane about Fetal Ejection Reflex (also known as FER). She had asked me what the most fascinating thing about being a doula is and I told her "being able to watch the human body at work." It truly is fascinating to watch everything play out from head to toe, headspace to physical environment to partner support and the undeniable influence of a broken medical system; it's all just fascinating (and sometimes frustrating). This conversation led to us talking about the fascinating things that the body can do that most people don't know. The problem with this is that out of all of the people who don't know about FER, so many of them will be directly impact (birthing parent) by this lack of understanding & knowledge. To add salt to the wound, many more will be impacted in a secondary type of way (non-birthing parent) so i...

Failed Inductions: What You Need to Know

Failed Inductions: What You Need to Know When we talk about inductions, we often speak of them like they are 100% guaranteeing us a baby at the end. While this is true most of the time, you’d probably be surprised to learn that indcutins can fail and you may be sent home to wait it out a bit longer. Or, if the option isn’t presented to you, you can ask or take yourself home. It is important to ensure that you and your baby are safe to go home.There are thousands of women each year that experience a failed induction and it can be very hard emotionally.  What is a failed induction? A failed induction is the inability to reach active labor while being induced . There is a certain process we want to take when it comes to induction. I call this your ‘individual induction equation.’ It’s truly individual to you and you get to introduce various induction methods as you see fit which makes your equation unique to you. First we want to ripen the cervix--it needs to be soft. You have options...