Skip to main content

An Awkward Run-In at Target into a Lesson in Diversity

An Awkward Run-In at Target turned into a Lesson in Diversity

(This was an article Hehe wrote originally for Family Education, you can view the full article HERE.

As a Maternity Concierge, sometimes I go on the first few outings with new moms after the baby is born. This particular family had a three-year-old, too. So here we are having spent way too much time in Target and a cart that drops items every few feet because it’s piled mountain high because this mom had been cooped up for the last three weeks. I’m wearing the baby, who is sleeping, and the three-year-old is in the cart (and holding a few items), but growing antsy as each minute passes. Nap for her was due in 45 minutes and we knew we’d already be late for that.

As we step into the line (keeping in mind, we are the third party in line), the three-year-old asks if tomorrow is a “school day” or a “home day” and her mom tells her it’s a school day. The conversation pursues and the little girl names her friends that are in her class including the “not kind” friends and her “most favorite” friends. As the conversation dies, I begin a conversation with the mom about setting expectations for what our plan is for when we get back to their home. Amidst our planing, we hear this booming, yet so innocent, voice say, “Look Mommy! She’s black.”

Now, let me set the stage for you. I don’t have children. I know secrets to nooks and crannies of parenting. I know tips and tricks for couples about to have a baby. I know how to comfort someone after a miscarriage. I know how to navigate setting boundaries when tantrums strike, introducing solids, and how to potty train kids, but nothing… I repeat, nothing…. can prepare you for a moment like this in life. Sometimes in my job, I find myself saying, “Thank God I am not here yet in life,” and this was one of them.

This mother, ever so gently said, “You’re so right! You’re noticing we all look different. We all have different color skin, isn’t that neat?” The little girl continued, “Like Justin* at school!” Her mom replied, “You’re right! Do you want to say hi to her? You could ask her her name.” The little girl nodded and turned to the lady in front of us and said “Hi! I have this baby!” As she said this, she was holding up her new baby doll she was getting “to practice breastfeeding” as mom breastfed her new baby brother.

As it turns out, this little girl had been learning about diversity at school. Not only was she displaying her intelligence of being able to transfer things she learned in school to the outside world, she was simply trying to say hello to a new friend and didn’t know how. It was never about the lady in front of us because it was always about her being a proud new big sister showing off her new skills in her new role. It was always about having something to say and not knowing how to say it.

Imagine if her mom had squashed that?

Remember, that your child has no idea what is socially acceptable and what isn’t. That’s your responsibility to set those boundaries and teach your child why those boundaries exist. It’s your job to teach your child how to interact with other humans and treat other people kindly. As they learn about the world, you will have to shape the way they express the constant influx of knowledge they take in each day.

Be mindful that your child learns by seeing and doing and observing. They ask blatant questions because, to them, their questions are simple. They make unfiltered comments because, for them, that’s the language they have to express that feeling or thought. Remember, they are simply connecting the dots around them.

*Name has been changed.

Check out the FULL article , here.

Don’t forget to check out our newest adventure The Birth Lounge, listen in to The Birth Lounge Podcast, and follow us on Instagram at @tranquilitybyhehe! 


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Do Inductions Really Rise Around the Holidays?

Do Inductions Really Rise Around the Holidays? As long as I can remember in my doula career, I have been told, both seriously and sarcastically, that inductions rise around the holidays because doctors want to control the births they will have to deliver on..let’s say Thanksgiving day or Christmas Day.  I have to be honest in that I never really paid much attention to it because our team typically takes off the end of the year! It has been an intentional decision in years past to not take births in the months of December and January. This provided us with the time to disconnect, visit family and friends, and wrap up one year + dive into the next with a solid foundation. As you well know, 2020 has changed so much of what we knew and, for us, this meant not having the space to disconnect without leaving birthing people vulnerable in a global crisis and not traveling for this holidays. With this, we decided to work straight through 2020 into the start of 2021. And in this moment, the enti

Is your IUD poisoning you?

Could your copper IUD being causing your body to be overloaded and in need of a serious detox? (This is also a podcast episode on The Tranquility Tribe podcast, if you prefer, listen  here .) Hey Tranquility Tribe! This week, we’re getting educated about a little-known, big problem that affects thousands of women around the world: copper toxicity. HeHe has had a copper IUD for about a year and loves it, but when she started experiencing some funky symptoms, she came across the topic of copper toxicity and knew she needed to do a deeper dive. There’s no one better to educate us about this than someone who has experienced it themselves, so HeHe enlisted the help of Kirby Costa Campos, who has made it her life’s mission to educate herself and others about copper toxicity and help women face the reality that the copper IUD may be playing a big role in occurrences of this poisoning.  Kirby had been ill on and off for many years and

Failed Inductions: What You Need to Know

Failed Inductions: What You Need to Know When we talk about inductions, we often speak of them like they are 100% guaranteeing us a baby at the end. While this is true most of the time, you’d probably be surprised to learn that indcutins can fail and you may be sent home to wait it out a bit longer. Or, if the option isn’t presented to you, you can ask or take yourself home. It is important to ensure that you and your baby are safe to go home.There are thousands of women each year that experience a failed induction and it can be very hard emotionally.  What is a failed induction? A failed induction is the inability to reach active labor while being induced . There is a certain process we want to take when it comes to induction. I call this your ‘individual induction equation.’ It’s truly individual to you and you get to introduce various induction methods as you see fit which makes your equation unique to you. First we want to ripen the cervix--it needs to be soft. You have options of