Skip to main content

Is your Gynecologist a Male?

Is Your Gynecologist a Male?

[This is also an episode of Friday Free Talk on The Tranquility Tribe Podcast on iTunes. Listen here.]
In this episode, I dive into the stigma that in order to be a good doula, you must have children yourself. I get down to the nitty gritty and pretty raw. 

A question that I sometimes hear is how I could possibly be so knowledgable on pregnancy, birth, and newborns without having my own children. It comes from parents in interviews who have failed to truly understand the support and role of a doula and sometimes it's straight from the mouths of other female birth professionals. Those same practitioners usually place so much weight on their own births and with this, their own birth experiences subtly overflow into their practice. I also realized that male professionals are not subject to this same standard or judgement bar. They are allowed to have never birthed a child, but also be competent to support others in birth. 

And cue the wheels in my head...

Every now and then, I will have a client ask about my own birth experience in an interview (often assuming I have children of my own). This is often a pivotal moment in the interview. This often solidifies whether that parent is my ideal client or not. I can usually confidently peg if they are the best fit for the TBH approach or if I should refer them elsewhere because I feel they may be better served by someone other than me.  That's right,  I often turn down clients who I don't think are the right fit for TBH. Many people don't realize that putting together your birth team should be an intentional process and I only want to be part of the birth teams that are perfectly crafted and well thought out so we set ourselves up to achieve our end goal. This team is here to help you achieve our ideal birth, and if I'm not the right fit for that position, I don't want to rob you of the possibility of the perfect support finding you. 

When You Know, You Know

Now that you better understand our method as an approach rather than doula services, you can understand how this might be hard to grasp. However, when the right client hears about our experience, that's game over. They know instantly. These are people who enjoy self-care, understand the importance of mental health, value the journey of pregnancy and recognize it as a time to shift your lifestyle temporarily, and that all of this is founded in mindset and knowing your options. 

So, About Your Gynecologist...

When someone brings this fact up that I have not had children, I always ask, "Do you have a male gynecologist?" For those who answer no, I ask them to imagine having one. I ask them how they think he can practice if he doesn't have a vagina... or a uterus, ovaries, cervix, or a menstrual cycle. Right. That seem so silly because some of the best gynecologists out there are male. There are female urologist, too, who are just as capable with the opposite reproductive system.

For those who answer yes, it's pretty self explanatory. You can see it all over their faces when they realize this double standard they have come face to face with. Their gynecologist has a penis so by fault of their previous question, one would conclude that their gynecologist doesn't meet the requirements to practice on their body. Like doctors, (and many other professions) my expertise comes from education and hands-on practice with everyday parents--parents of all walks of life and cultures and of different beliefs. It's great. It is so much fun constantly learning and actually learning things that are practical and useful to other parents. It's also allowed me this space to evolved into the multifaceted practitioner I am today.

Maybe We Aren't The Best Fit. 
That's right, I've had to say this to clients before. I'm not sure I am the best fit for your birth experience. Having people in your birth room who don't jive 100% with you can really throw off the energy of the room. If this is you, then you may want to reevaluate hour team. I recognize and respect the fact that I can not be everyone's doula. I don't want to be everyone's doula. Not everyone will be motivated by the TBH approach and not everyone will believe in the benefits and that's okay

Bottom Line: BE SELFISH. 

Putting your birth team together should be selfish and you shouldn't expect anything less than perfect. You will have an idea of your perfect birth experience and I believe there is support out there to help you achieve that. It may not be me and that's okay, too. People need different means of support and I can only do so much. The great news is that you have options (I know, imagine that, right?). There is someone out there that specializes in the specific type of support you want or need. Ask people for resources. We have resources of all kinds. Connect with us and let us know what kind of support you are looking for! 

If you believe that in order to be the perfect birth support, your doula needs to have already had kids, then we are not the perfect match. If you believe in self-care, the importance of mental health, want to know your choices and be educated on what's happening to your body during birth, then we might be a great team. 

Tranquility by HeHe, A Maternity Concierge, Birthing and Doula Service in Boston, Massachusetts
"We can't wait to pamper you."


  1. This is an awesome list! Thank you for compiling all of these ideas into an article about Gynecologist. I love the information you’ve taken the time to share. thank you. Gynecologist in Wakad

  2. I am very thankful to you that you have shared this excellent information with us. I got some different kind of knowledge from your webpage, and it is helpful for everyone. Thanks for share it. IVF clinic Los Angeles

  3. This is important information which is shared by you. This info is meaningful and important for everyone to increase our knowledge about it. Always keep sharing this kind of information. Thank you. Read more info about Fetal Fotos

  4. I always check these types of advisory post and I found your article. This is a great source to increase knowledge. Thanks for sharing an article like this. Gynecologist Doctor in Aundh Pune

  5. You have a genuine capacity to compose a substance that is useful for us. You have shared an amazing post about Lady Gynecologist in Pune.Much obliged to you for your endeavors in sharing such information with us.

  6. The delightful article you have posted here. This is a good way to increase our knowledge.Obstetrician North Shore Private Continue sharing this kind of articles, Thank you.

  7. I would like to say this is a well-informed article as we have seen here. Your way of writing is very impressive and also it is a beneficial article for us. Thanks for sharing an article like this.Gynecologist Near Me

  8. You've created an excellent essay. Your essay gave me some of Top ranked gynecologist in carlsbad, ca unique and useful information. Thank you for bringing this article to our attention.

  9. The representation of this article is actually superb. I think this is a genuinely beneficial and instructive article for everyone, I appreciate this kind of writing 4d Ultrasound Perth Thankful you for sharing an article like this.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Do Inductions Really Rise Around the Holidays?

Do Inductions Really Rise Around the Holidays? As long as I can remember in my doula career, I have been told, both seriously and sarcastically, that inductions rise around the holidays because doctors want to control the births they will have to deliver on..let’s say Thanksgiving day or Christmas Day.  I have to be honest in that I never really paid much attention to it because our team typically takes off the end of the year! It has been an intentional decision in years past to not take births in the months of December and January. This provided us with the time to disconnect, visit family and friends, and wrap up one year + dive into the next with a solid foundation. As you well know, 2020 has changed so much of what we knew and, for us, this meant not having the space to disconnect without leaving birthing people vulnerable in a global crisis and not traveling for this holidays. With this, we decided to work straight through 2020 into the start of 2021. And in this moment, the enti

Sexual Wellness with Rebecca Alvarez Part 1 of 2

Sexual Wellness Products with Rebecca Alvarez (Part 1 of 2 of our interview derived from The Birth Lounge Podcast Episode 130 ) You GUYS. I am SO excited to bring this interview to life here on the blog. Did you know that 98% of all feminine care products has at least 1 toxic ingredient? That's scary! Rebecca Alvarez earned her BA in Women’s Health & Sexuality from UC Berkeley and her MA in Sexuality Studies from San Francisco State and is the founder of The Bloomi. She is joining me to dive deep into what’s wrong with traditional sexual wellness products, how to spot harmful ingredients and false labeling, and what you need to know about long term effects of these issues in sexual wellness and women’s health! So Let's have Rebecca introduce herself! Rebecca : I consider myself a sexual wellness expert. I'm also an entrepreneur and my passion is bringing clean intimate care products to women and femmes. I'm sure we'll talk about why that's important and wha

Vagina Whispering: Everyone's Doing It

Meet The Vagina Whisperer [This is also an episode of Friday Free Talk on The Tranquility Tribe Podcast on iTunes. Listen  here .] Hey Tranquility Tribe!  I’m so excited to bring you this episode of the Tranquility Tribe podcast!  Today, Hehe talked to Sara Reardon, also known as the Vagina Whisperer.  As you may be able to guess from her nickname, Sara is an expert in all things vagina, which means that this episode is full of super essential and often understated topics! Who is the Vagina Whisperer? Sara Reardon is a physical therapist who currently practices in New Orleans.   She specializes in men and women’s pelvic floor health, and she is passionate about speaking up when it comes to treatment and prevention of pelvic health issues.   By bringing humor to the often sensitive topic of staying healthy “down there,” Sara helps to unpack countless vagina-related topics that many women have experience with but few are comfortable talking about.   In addition t