4 Mindset Shifts for Pregnancy, Postpartum, and Parenthood
[This is also an episode of Friday Free Talk on The Tranquility Tribe Podcast on iTunes. Listen here.]
Fact: Parenting is hard.
Fact: Parenting is hard.
Fact: Littles can cause you to lose your shit sometimes and
this is not an indicator of how much you love your kids.
Fact: The energy you put out is the energy you will get
back.
Hey, You’re Normal
That’s right…I said it. We all lose our shit sometimes. We
all have those days (remember when Miley sang about it—don’t make me pull up
youtube because that’s a rabbit hole all the way to hoe down throw down and I
have some serious moves for that song).
Sometimes, your kids will be the reason you lose said shit. This
in no way, shape, or form impacts the amount of love you have for your child. I
also firmly believe that your child alone will never make you lose it. They are
just so darn cute. However, with all of life’s other stressors, there’s doubt
you will feel like your brain is a bowl of oatmeal slowly oozing out of your
ears as you wonder if your neighbors and the nosy grandma in the grocery store
can tell you are one centimeter from a total Britney style meltdown.
Welcome to Staples, Here is your Red Button
When you find yourself in the space that you are needing a
hard reset, it can be hard to find it yourself. You’re really in the trenches
here, right? How can you be expected to also get yourself out? *Cue calling
on the village* When I find
myself in the mental trenches of negativity, I have 4 go-to phrases that I rely
on to help pull me out.
These can be changed or modified to fit your particular
needs. I modify them depending on the situation or maybe the outcome that I’m
trying to achieve. If nothing else, these will be a great base-line for you to
start your own mantras that can be that saving grace when you need it most.
1 Gratitude
Try sending gratitude to whatever it is that is causing your grief or ill
emotion. Whether that be your toddler who tantrums every 20 minutes or the
round ligament pain that hasn’t let up since your 5th month of
pregnancy. Maybe it’s the sadness of struggling to actually have a baby that
you send gratitude to because you know it will make the end goal all that much
sweeter. Be grateful that you are this
child’s parent and for any future tiny humans you may have. Send gratitude to
all the people who cause you ill feelings, too. They have taught you so much-
who you don’t want to be as a human,
who you want to teach your kids to not be, and about core values that you may
not have even know you held. Send
gratitude, always.
2 This is
temporary Whatever it is that caused to you get in this funk is temporary.
People get into funks due to different reasons and various stressors, but you
can guarantee that everyone gets in a funk. No one has ever been pregnant
forever and no one has ever reported that their child stayed three forever. Those
sleepless nights get better and your swollen feet will eventually return to normal
size. I promise that this stage is
temporary.
3 You are
supported by people who love you Whether your village is 2 people or 200
people, you are surrounded by people who care about you and want you to
succeed. These people are here for you to lean on. Let them help you. Pick up
the phone and call them. Go get drinks with a friend. This was never meant to
do alone and no one gives you an award at the end if you do. Reach out and let
your tribe support you. You are not alone
and you are loved.
4 You are
strong and capable You can do this. Look out world because I am beating to
my own drum, I’m making my own rules, and I’m coming in hot. You can do this,
too. You are impacting everyone around you so stand tall. Make that impact. You
are the only one who gets the honor to walk your path. No one else walks in
your shoes. Own your energy, create your own perfect reality. You can do this.
Invest in Yourself
Hitting the reset button may look like a little more than
chanting these mantras. It may look like an afternoon that you pay a babysitter
to come to be with your kids and you take the afternoon to do anything you want
or nothing at all. Maybe it’s your partner taking the kids for the morning and
you get to sleep late. Maybe it’s purchasing yourself a massage. It can even be
as simple as buying flowers at the grocery store (while avoiding the nosy
grandma) and brightening up your home. It looks different for everyone. That’s the
beauty of it to me; there’s no right or wrong, there’s only what’s right for
you in that moment.
Whatever that looks like for you, do that.
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