Skip to main content

4 Mindset Shifts for Pregnancy, Postpartum, and Parenthood


4 Mindset Shifts for Pregnancy, Postpartum, and Parenthood 

[This is also an episode of Friday Free Talk on The Tranquility Tribe Podcast on iTunes. Listen here.]

Fact: Parenting is hard.
Fact: Littles can cause you to lose your shit sometimes and this is not an indicator of how much you love your kids.
Fact: The energy you put out is the energy you will get back.

Hey, You’re Normal

That’s right…I said it. We all lose our shit sometimes. We all have those days (remember when Miley sang about it—don’t make me pull up youtube because that’s a rabbit hole all the way to hoe down throw down and I have some serious moves for that song).

Sometimes, your kids will be the reason you lose said shit. This in no way, shape, or form impacts the amount of love you have for your child. I also firmly believe that your child alone will never make you lose it. They are just so darn cute. However, with all of life’s other stressors, there’s doubt you will feel like your brain is a bowl of oatmeal slowly oozing out of your ears as you wonder if your neighbors and the nosy grandma in the grocery store can tell you are one centimeter from a total Britney style meltdown.

Welcome to Staples, Here is your Red Button

When you find yourself in the space that you are needing a hard reset, it can be hard to find it yourself. You’re really in the trenches here, right? How can you be expected to also get yourself out? *Cue calling on the village* When I find myself in the mental trenches of negativity, I have 4 go-to phrases that I rely on to help pull me out.

These can be changed or modified to fit your particular needs. I modify them depending on the situation or maybe the outcome that I’m trying to achieve. If nothing else, these will be a great base-line for you to start your own mantras that can be that saving grace when you need it most.

1    Gratitude Try sending gratitude to whatever it is that is causing your grief or ill emotion. Whether that be your toddler who tantrums every 20 minutes or the round ligament pain that hasn’t let up since your 5th month of pregnancy. Maybe it’s the sadness of struggling to actually have a baby that you send gratitude to because you know it will make the end goal all that much sweeter. Be grateful that you are this child’s parent and for any future tiny humans you may have. Send gratitude to all the people who cause you ill feelings, too. They have taught you so much- who you don’t want to be as a human, who you want to teach your kids to not be, and about core values that you may not have even know you held. Send gratitude, always.

2   This is temporary Whatever it is that caused to you get in this funk is temporary. People get into funks due to different reasons and various stressors, but you can guarantee that everyone gets in a funk. No one has ever been pregnant forever and no one has ever reported that their child stayed three forever. Those sleepless nights get better and your swollen feet will eventually return to normal size. I promise that this stage is temporary.

3   You are supported by people who love you Whether your village is 2 people or 200 people, you are surrounded by people who care about you and want you to succeed. These people are here for you to lean on. Let them help you. Pick up the phone and call them. Go get drinks with a friend. This was never meant to do alone and no one gives you an award at the end if you do. Reach out and let your tribe support you. You are not alone and you are loved.

4   You are strong and capable You can do this. Look out world because I am beating to my own drum, I’m making my own rules, and I’m coming in hot. You can do this, too. You are impacting everyone around you so stand tall. Make that impact. You are the only one who gets the honor to walk your path. No one else walks in your shoes. Own your energy, create your own perfect reality. You can do this.

Invest in Yourself

Hitting the reset button may look like a little more than chanting these mantras. It may look like an afternoon that you pay a babysitter to come to be with your kids and you take the afternoon to do anything you want or nothing at all. Maybe it’s your partner taking the kids for the morning and you get to sleep late. Maybe it’s purchasing yourself a massage. It can even be as simple as buying flowers at the grocery store (while avoiding the nosy grandma) and brightening up your home. It looks different for everyone. That’s the beauty of it to me; there’s no right or wrong, there’s only what’s right for you in that moment.

Whatever that looks like for you, do that.

Don’t forget to join our private Facebook, The Tranquility Tribe Podcast, and follow us on Instagram at @tranquilitybyhehe!


"Welcome to the Tranquility Tribe"


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Do Inductions Really Rise Around the Holidays?

Do Inductions Really Rise Around the Holidays? As long as I can remember in my doula career, I have been told, both seriously and sarcastically, that inductions rise around the holidays because doctors want to control the births they will have to deliver on..let’s say Thanksgiving day or Christmas Day.  I have to be honest in that I never really paid much attention to it because our team typically takes off the end of the year! It has been an intentional decision in years past to not take births in the months of December and January. This provided us with the time to disconnect, visit family and friends, and wrap up one year + dive into the next with a solid foundation. As you well know, 2020 has changed so much of what we knew and, for us, this meant not having the space to disconnect without leaving birthing people vulnerable in a global crisis and not traveling for this holidays. With this, we decided to work straight through 2020 into the start of 2021. And in this moment, the enti

Is your IUD poisoning you?

Could your copper IUD being causing your body to be overloaded and in need of a serious detox? (This is also a podcast episode on The Tranquility Tribe podcast, if you prefer, listen  here .) Hey Tranquility Tribe! This week, we’re getting educated about a little-known, big problem that affects thousands of women around the world: copper toxicity. HeHe has had a copper IUD for about a year and loves it, but when she started experiencing some funky symptoms, she came across the topic of copper toxicity and knew she needed to do a deeper dive. There’s no one better to educate us about this than someone who has experienced it themselves, so HeHe enlisted the help of Kirby Costa Campos, who has made it her life’s mission to educate herself and others about copper toxicity and help women face the reality that the copper IUD may be playing a big role in occurrences of this poisoning.  Kirby had been ill on and off for many years and

Failed Inductions: What You Need to Know

Failed Inductions: What You Need to Know When we talk about inductions, we often speak of them like they are 100% guaranteeing us a baby at the end. While this is true most of the time, you’d probably be surprised to learn that indcutins can fail and you may be sent home to wait it out a bit longer. Or, if the option isn’t presented to you, you can ask or take yourself home. It is important to ensure that you and your baby are safe to go home.There are thousands of women each year that experience a failed induction and it can be very hard emotionally.  What is a failed induction? A failed induction is the inability to reach active labor while being induced . There is a certain process we want to take when it comes to induction. I call this your ‘individual induction equation.’ It’s truly individual to you and you get to introduce various induction methods as you see fit which makes your equation unique to you. First we want to ripen the cervix--it needs to be soft. You have options of